Zingers

You know that one friend of yours that always has a clever comeback for any quip? You know the one. We all have that friend with the gift of precision use of the zinger. What’s the perfect one-liner for the surly morning barista? Your buddy drops it like the coins he won’t drop into the tip jar. And the sarcastic reply to some inane question? Your pal delivers it like a sweet song from honeyed lips.

Zingers are a handy tool for urban living. See the above examples if you’re in doubt. And they’re another tool for life that I’ve learned from The Mummy. Wondering what to say to the librarian who has knocked down every bookshelf? “Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy!” Hell yeah! And after her apology? “When Ramses destroyed Syria, it was an accident. You are a catastrophe!” Why can’t I ever think of good comebacks like these!?

I love a good zinger, but I can never think of one at the right moment. Maybe it’s that strict upbringing with no “talking back.” *sigh* Something else to blame on my parents. But I digress.

One of my favorite features of The Mummy is the zingers. From the very first scenes, the movie is filled with zingers.

“My body is no longer his temple!” –Anck-su-namun
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“Your strength gives me strength.” –Beni
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“Have you no respect for the dead?” –Evy
“Right now, I only wish to join them.” –Jonathan
“Well I wish you’d do it sooner rather than later[...]” –Evy
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“You lied to me!” – Evy
“I lie to everybody, what makes you so special?” –Jonathan
“I’m your sister.” –Evy
“That just makes you more gullible.” –Jonathan
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“You’re gonna get yours, Beni! You’re gonna get yours!” –O’Connell
“Like I haven’t heard that before.” -Beni

Zingers are fun; no question about it. But sometimes you don’t need to speak to zing. Your actions can do a lot of zinging all by themselves.

“What does a woman know?” asks the Egyptologist. In response, we are shown Evy explaining all sorts of nifty tidbits to O’Connell and the rest of her treasure hunters. Asked and answered. But Evy knows so much more than those tidbits.

Regardless of the Bembridge scholars’ complaint that Evy hasn’t spent enough time in the field—a detriment swiftly remedied as the film progresses—Evy is a fount of information about ancient Egypt. Pay attention; you’ll see. Who identifies Jonathan’s find? Evy. Who gets O’Connell out of prison? Evy. (Okay, not until after he’s hanged, and the noose doesn’t snap his neck.) Whose plucky camel gets to Hamunaptra first and wins the $500 bet? Evy. (Alright, that was more luck than knowledge, but who cares?) Who thinks to dig at the foot of Anubis instead of in his chamber? Evy! Need I go on?

Is the entire film the answer to “What does a woman know?” Maybe. And that is one good zinger.